


Forgetting You (Was the Last Thing I Ever Wanted to Do)

by dustysadderdaze



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Flashbacks, M/M, Pining, The Author Regrets Nothing, mentioned johnkun, this one was painful idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:20:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26882074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dustysadderdaze/pseuds/dustysadderdaze
Summary: Jaehyun and Ten have spent many lives together. And yet, why is Ten the only one that remembers their past?
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten
Comments: 7
Kudos: 38
Collections: nct title fest 2020





	Forgetting You (Was the Last Thing I Ever Wanted to Do)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This fic has been a long time coming and I'm more than ecstatic that it's finally here. Thank you to my beta for putting up with my incessant whining and always encouraging me. 
> 
> Get the tissues!

Ten still remembered just the way Jaehyun tasted when they kissed on the beach. Like strawberries with sugar sprinkled in. 

Ten still remembered the way Jaehyun had held him, arms around his slim waist.

Ten still remembered the way Jaehyun looked when he saw him for the last time. At least, in that life. 

Seoul, South Korea. Current day, May 2020. Ten was leaving his relatively new apartment, locking up behind himself- not before double-checking that his sneaky cat was still inside- before he rounded around and saw a face he’d been dreading. Jung Jaehyun, boxes piled in his arms, trying to push open his apartment door with his foot, balancing everything as well as he could. Ten was hoping to slip past him unseen so he didn’t have to deal with that situation right at that minute, he REALLY had to get to the studio, but Jaehyun’s voice stopped him in his tracks.

“You’re 2A, right?” he called, eyes still the same shade of pretty brown Ten was so used to. They’d spent many lives together, but Jaehyun remembered none of them.

Ten remembered every single one.

Placing a fake smile on his feline face, he avoided meeting his gaze, “Yeah, I am. The landlord mentioned there would be someone moving in, but he didn’t say it would be today. Welcome.”

Jaehyun returned his smile, brilliant and stunning as ever. Ten’s heart ached. “I’m officially moved in tomorrow but I wanted to get a headstart on settling in."

Ten nodded, mind racing a million miles an hour. "Well...good luck. If you need anything, I'm nearby." And before Jaehyun could get another word in, Ten was rushing off.

Xiaojun snapped his fingers in front of his eyes, already having finished stretching out his muscles. “Ten? Anyone in there?” he joked.

Ten grimaced, standing up straight from his squatted position, brushing his hands on his sweatpants. “Yeah...sorry,” he mumbled, looking down at the floor. His head was just not there today, and he knew exactly why.

“Something on your mind today?” Sometimes he was just a little too curious for his own good, but he appreciated him caring enough to ask.

Ten smiled weakly, hurrying over to the speakers to distract himself, pretending to get ready for warm up. 

Kun was the only one he trusted enough to talk to about his..dilemma. He and his coworker had walked down to the cafe across the street- Kun promptly ignoring the cute, six-foot, barista making goo-goo eyes at him. Ten almost felt bad for him. He was sweet and gentle. But Kun was just not that into him.

“So you… have known him for, say, over thousands of years?” Kun asked tentatively, the words leaving a bitter taste on his tongue. He was trying to understand, wrap his head around it.

Ten sucked at his straw before answering. They’d gone out to one of their favorite hangout spots, where they went when they needed peace and quiet, to think. “I know it sounds fucking crazy, but I genuinely have... We keep coming back to each other, every single lifetime. And it’s always in the most strange, wonderful ways.”

Kun was quiet for a good, solid minute or two, then a smile was lifting his lips upwards, “yeah? Tell me about him.”

He felt his face fill with color and he ducked his head quickly, “he’s… love requited. He’s the sun covering your face in a warm embrace. He’s that breath of fresh air. He’s those stupid corny Hallmark movies that you watch during christmas. He’s everything.” the way Ten spoke of him...it broke Kun’s heart. That he kept losing this faceless lover over and over and over again. “Every time we met again, it was like the first time all over. He’s so good, Kun...so good.” 

He recalled the times Jaehyun would take him out on the town dancing, lending him his jacket when they’d stumble back to his place, giving him a chaste kiss when he dropped him off at his front door. And how Ten would pull him forward by his collar and kiss him with passion. Kun rolled his eyes at Ten but didn’t interrupt him. He didn’t want that kind of visual, but it would be extraordinarily rude to cut him off. He recalled the times he’d asked Jaehyun to be his muse for his paintings.

Ten looked up at him for a split second before dipping his fingers into the paints. It was a very rare occasion when he didn’t use a brush, but he needed this. Jaehyun pulled his knees closer to his chest, propping his chin on them as he just watched quietly. He’d asked Ten after they got off from work if he could sit with him while he painted.

Ten definitely noticed the way Jaehyun looked at him like he hung the moon in the sky. 

Kun listened patiently, even when Ten trailed off, voice becoming inaudible. “You really loved him.” Was all he could manage. He wished he could say more. But he was at a loss for words. However, Ten understood. He always did.

“I did,” his voice, as well as his eyes, were far away. “The only man I’ve ever loved, if we’re being honest,” the chuckle that left his mouth afterward sounded… sad. “Anyway, are you ever going to pay attention to that barista who’s totally pussy whipped for you?” He was all too good at changing the subject, and a catlike grin pushed his lips up. 

Kun’s head snapped to look at him, almost looking scandalized. “Excuse me?” he spluttered.

Ten rolled his eyes. “I know you’re not that oblivious, Kun,” he quipped. “He’s always making heart eyes at you like a puppy...c’mon. It’s sad. Just give him the time of day for once,”

Kun leaned back, looking out at the river. “Mm...maybe you’re right. He is cute,”

They wandered back to the studio afterwards, Ten quiet and lost in his own thoughts. Kun understood, though. Often he’d see his co-worker like that.

Ten and Jaehyun saw each other often after that- he seemed to be running into the boy with dimples more than he wanted to. 

“So what do you do for work, Ten?” Jaehyun asked casually as they were both checking their mailboxes. 

Ten had just come back home from the studio after a long day- he’d been there since five in the morning, and it was now pushing six in the evening. “ah...I’m part of a dance studio. I teach classes, and have my own group. I’ve been with them for three years now,”

Jaehyun nodded, listening intently. “That’s amazing, and sounds like a lot of fun. Mind if I come watch sometime?”

“I might make you learn how to dance the salsa, but sure, if you want...meet me out here tomorrow and we can go to the studio together?" 

And Jaehyun did, bright and early, two coffees in hand. "Thought you might need this...I wasn't sure what you'd like, though," his ears were red. Cute. 

Ten took the coffee from him, smiling tiredly, "i did, thank you." The coffee was a little on the sweet side, but that was okay.

Before Ten entered the studio with Jaehyun, he'd sent a text to the groupchat. 

"Say one word to embarrass me and I'll make you do burpees," he warned.

All he got in response was YangYang and Yukhei putting devil emojis and replying with, "we can't promise anything."

Ten was leading the group in warmups today, which meant an EXTRA amount of whining. Maybe if they were more flexible, he would coo teasingly. Jaehyun sat in the back, just watching quietly.

When Kun was pulling out the mats for them to stretch on, he leaned over to whisper in Ten's ear, "you never told me just how handsome he is, what the hell?" He shot a look at Jaehyun.

Ten grinned, shrugging. "Because it simply can't be described in words."

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Xiaojun talking to him, and he paid close attention. "You're welcome to join us anytime you want. Do you dance? Ten's the best teacher there is," Ten stopped listening after that, ducking his head in embarrassment.

Jaehyun started coming in more often with Ten, starting to bring coffees for all of them- Ten always snatching Yangyang's from him, "you have enough energy as is," YangYang would only roll his eyes in response.

Ten was at the studio late one night, finishing his last stretches for the day before he headed home. Some soft music was playing through one of the massive speakers, and he sat in front of one of the floor length mirrors, letting the music take his mind elsewhere.

Bright eyes. Cheesy, shy grin. Dimples that could cure any negative feelings. Jaehyun had stumbled in front of Ten's lens- he was taking candid shots of the floral arrangements in the beautiful town he was visiting. "God, I'm sorry-" he mumbled embarrassedly.

Ten lowered his camera, blinking in surprise. "It's no worries," he replied kindly, letting his camera rest lightly against his chest. 

“I didn’t damage anything right? Ruin a shot?” God, he was cute. Nervous. Ten could have started fawning right then and there. 

Deciding to tease him a little bit, he stuck his tongue out, “Actually, you did...ruined a good shot of the water lilies I was trying to capture.”

“Anything I can do to make it up to you?”

Ten blinked in surprise. That was awful forward of him. He always had been, though. “Buy me breakfast?”

Jaehyun had smiled brightly at that, nodding his head. “I know a great coffee shop down the road…”

Ten rubbed his face after jerking awake- he'd started to doze. And of course he'd been thinking about Jaehyun. Looking back at his reflection one more time, he flicked the studio light off and headed home.

Jaehyun kept having strange dreams. Dreams that were always centered around his next door neighbour. The tiny, fairy-like boy that seemed like he would fit perfectly in between his arms. Jaehyun almost felt embarrassed whenever he’d pass Ten on his way out to work, ducking his head- though that wasn’t much help, since his ears always turned red. He kept replaying those strange visions in his head. Ten, standing on the beach, shorts hanging low on his slim hips, tank top loose. He had his head tipped up towards the night sky- somehow clear, and pretty. The night air was soothing, only slightly breezy. Ten and himself walking down a crowded marketplace, full of flowers, hand in hand- with a dazzling ring snug on his marriage finger. Ten, kneeling on his haunches painting on a canvas he’d placed on the floor of what looked like a quaint little studio. His fingers were stained with pretty shades of reds and pinks. Jaehyun had sat down in the doorway, watching him silently, with adoration shining on his face. Ten looked up from his work, a shy smile on his face. “What?”

“You’re just… so beautiful when you’re working,”

Ten ducked his head, shaking his head, and changing the subject. “How was work?”

The dreams always left Jaehyun breathless and light-headed, staying up for hours on end afterwards. It got to the point where Jaehyun couldn’t handle it anymore. So, probably breaking all etiquette, he knocked on Ten’s apartment door close to midnight one day, confusion scribbled all over his darling face. 

It took a few minutes for the door to be answered. Ten rubbed at his sleepy eyes, only dressed in a big, fluffy black robe. “...Jaehyun?” god Jaehyun could feel his ears burning red. He felt so bad for coming over this late, but he couldn’t get Ten off his mind.

Almost as if Ten was in tune with the way Jaehyun was feeling, he stepped aside, welcoming him in, “you can come in...if you want. Just don’t let the cats out,”

Jaehyun smiled nervously and entered, glancing around. Ten had such a quaint little apartment, decorated with fairy lights and art supplies stashed in random places. There was soft music coming from his bedroom, something instrumental and soothing. “Jaehyun.” he murmured from behind him, making him turn on his heel quickly. “There a reason you’re waking me up in the dead of night?” The smile on his face was good-natured, teasing. 

“I’ve been having dreams about you,” he blurted out, going red. Ten froze in his spot, smile falling off of his face.

“...dreams?” he asked nervously, looking like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Dreams. Dreams that seem like…like they’re more than just dreams, Ten.”

Ten’s heart was in his stomach. But his decision was made within a second. “Sit down, Jaehyun. This is… going to be a lot,” walking briskly into his kitchen, he pulled some fancy glasses out of the cupboard, peeking at him, “wine?”

Jaehyun nodded, accepting the glass from him and perching himself in one of the recliners in his living room.

Ten was done with living every single life not being able to tell Jaehyun the truth about them. He'd always been too scared the powers that be would destroy Jaehyun if he did. But this was the first time this had happened...the dreams. Maybe something would change. Maybe it wouldn't.

And so Ten told him everything. The reincarnation, the way only he remembered their past lives.

“Why didn’t you move on?” Jaehyun mumbled, a heavy, aching sadness making its way through his body.

Ten smiled sadly up at him, all too aware of what he was feeling right at the moment. That deep, familiar love that hadn’t gone away for hundreds of years. “Forgetting you was the last thing I ever wanted to do, Jung Jaehyun. I couldn’t. Every single life I spent you was better than the last. And we kept coming back to each other.” he downed the rest of the wine in his glass, the bitter taste lingering on the tip of his tongue.

Jaehyun just sat there stationary, speechless. It was a lot to process, Ten knew. But this was the first time in any of their shared lives that he told him the truth. Maybe things would…Ten shook his head fervently, not willing to get his feelings hurt again. He knew things wouldn’t change. But he’d live this life with him just as he’d been doing. Even if it hurt in the end.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this was as much of an emotional rollercoaster for you, reader, as it was for me. Take care.


End file.
